Well today would’ve been my dad’s 56th birthday. He lived 50 long years and I know that’s not very long, but when you live with Sickle Cell Anemia the way my daddy did, every year counts. I remember my grandma telling me that the doctors said he would never walk or live to see his first birthday…Hahaha doctor, he lived to see 50 birthdays and he lived every single moment of those years. Anyway I’d like to share some pictures from his last birthday party. Enjoy
Daddy’s best friend Larry and I
Daddy and Larry
Me and daddy, I still have that dress
Daddy’s long time friend Cynthia who I call Aunt Cynthia and Aunt Janice, daddy’s youngest sister
Larry and Veronica Love
Daddy and his youngest brother Howard
Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Mule
A guest pinning money on dad
Me and Mule
Doing some line dance with daddy! He was so much fun!
Daddy and DOL co-workers
Daddy dancing with his oldest sister Bobbie
Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Mule
One of my best friends Shea. We didn’t even plan to dress alike.
For most of my life I was really shy. I didn’t talk to people unless I knew them, hell I hardly talked to people I did know.
I didn’t like taking pictures, I didn’t like to smile, and I was just a very mean little girl.
As I got older I began to come out of my shell, I’d say I was about 15-years-old when I finally blossomed. By 18 I got into local modeling, for me it was just for fun, but it boost my confidence a whole lot. I remember my first show at The World Congress Center, I modeled three outfits (formal, casual and African). My dad was unable to attend because he’d just had hip replacement surgery, but he watched the VHS. You would think I was walking a runway during New York Fashion Week.
He was so excited, “Look at my baby, go Shaka.” He kept rewinding and watching my part over again.
In 2005 I got the opportunity to represent my college newspaper during Clark Atlanta University’s Coronation. It was first time being in the spotlight in college, I was kind of nervous, but excited at the same time.
Nerveless, I invited everybody and their mama. It was a Thursday night and I knew it would be hard for most since it was a work week.
I’m sure I invited at least ten people including my aunt, cousin and his wife, stepmom, and a few more people.
Right as I was walking into the building to head backstage I saw my daddy. He was running unusually late. I stopped and one of my friends and a photographer for the newspaper Jerusalem Barnett (now Farmer) snapped a picture of us.
I had no idea who else was at the show. Even when I was on stage the lights were so bright I couldn’t see into the crowd.
After the program was over I went into the crowd and my dad was the only one there, everyone else had something to come up and didn’t make it.
What I remember about that night is that my dad got there right as the show was about to start, but he was the only one that showed up beaming from ear to ear.
Daddy and I at CAU’s Coronation. Me as 2005 Miss Panther Newspaper
When I got married almost two years ago I went through a lot of my daddy’s pictures to make a slide show for the Father/Daughter Dance.
I found lots of pics I’d forgotten all about and of course the memories came flooding back.
In the late 80s early 90s daddy had this smurf blue Toyota that he would drive to Alabama and pick me up in. My favorite times were in the summers when I got to stay a extended time. My daddy worked in retail during that time and I would go to work with him.
He worked in a clothing store at Avondale Mall, everyone knew him in the mall and I’d go from store to store visiting the managers.
One day I was at work with my dad and I guess I was bored, I picked up the phone when daddy wasn’t paying attention and dialed 9-1-1. As soon as someone on the other end answered, I’d hang up. I did this about three times, until finally an officer showed up.
I was sitting behind the counter and it was still early in the day so there weren’t any customers in the store. The police asked for the manager and daddy identified himself.
By now I’m scared, but still sitting quiet.
The officer told daddy they received several calls from this store and asked if everything was okay. Daddy looked at me and asked “Shaka did you call the police?”
I told him yes, he asked why and I told him because I was bored. (LMAO)
I was about 9-years-old and always bored. The officer laughed and told me not to do it again. Daddy popped my hand and told me not to do it again and that was the end of that. Later on my daddy said next time I do something like that he was going to let them take me to jail since I was so bored then he gave me this long lecture about playing on the phone with the police. Needless to say I never dialed 9-1-1 again unless it was an emergency.
Daddy and me heading to work in the smurf blue Toyota
There are lots of things my daddy did for me that as I look back on I realize he didn’t have to do.
One that sticks out in particular is the night of my office Christmas party back in 2004.
I was interning at Crossroads News in south DeKalb County, but living downtown in student housing near Clark Atlanta University.
My car was in the shop for something, radiator I think.
It was the night of my party and I was kicking it with a guy who was my escort for the night.
His name was Shawn, he was about six years older than my age of 24.
Anyway Shawn called me an hour before pick up time with some excuse about why he couldn’t go. I don’t remember if it was his kid, on again off again girlfriend or flat tire. I was pissed, here I am almost dressed and my date is a no-show.
My roommate Olicia and I began calling other people, but to no avail, so Olicia got dressed and said we’d take the train. Me? I only took the train when it was necessary, not to mention we would have to take trains and a few buses to get from downtown to the other side of town. It was also very cold and I also don’t do cold weather unless its absolutely necessary.
Soooooooo with options and time running low, I called my dad. I just knew he would say no because he hated for me to call him last minute. He shocked me by saying yes he would take me to my Christmas party. I told him that the dude I was supposed to go with couldn’t go now so my roommate was coming with me. He simply said “Un huh, I’m on my way.”
An hour or so later my dad showed up and to my surprise he was dressed in a navy blue suit. I thought maybe he had somewhere else to go, so I’m like “Dad where you going?”
He said, “I’m going to the party with yall.”
Olicia started cracking up, she was like “That’s what’s up Mr. Phillips, let’s go.”
I didn’t think much of it then, but as I look back at the one picture we took I realize how sweet that was of my dad. It is by far one of my fondest memories of him. He not only drove from Stone Mountain to downtown Atlanta to Lithonia for the party, but he also let me keep his car for the rest of the weekend. That’s the kind of daddy I had, I could always call on him. Thinking back, that was the best date I’d ever had. I told him thank you, but it was more so, thanks for the ride. Dear Daddy in Heaven, thanks for being my date that night.
It’s always amazed me how much about my time in Detroit I remember. When I was born daddy had already moved from Columbus Ga up north, I’m guessing to make a better life for us. I’m told that mama and I moved there when I was three months old. My father-in-law teases me all the time because I don’t really have a southern accent, I’m a picky eater and I hate sweet tea. I explain to him the first five years of my life were up north.
I’m pretty sure I said pop instead of soda until one of my cousins forced me to say drank when mama and I moved back to Alabama where she’s from.
Anyway there were lots of good times and bad ones in Michigan. Obviously one of the best was my fourth birthday party in 1983. Before I even saw the accompanying picture I had clear memories of having a Strawberry Shortcake cake, I remember because I didn’t like that her shoes were outlined in black icing. To this day I’m very particular about my birthday cakes. I’ve gotten several free cakes because a decorator didn’t follow my instructions.
I remember Mickey Mouse birthday hats and napkins. I remember chips, red punch, ice cream, my little boyfriend/neighbor Munchin and my daddy capturing every moment with a camera. So if you every attended one of my themed birthday parties, I’m pretty sure it started here.
The conversation probably went something like this:
Daddy: What kind of party do you want?
Shaka: A Strawberry Shortcake Mickey Mouse.
Daddy: That doesn’t go together.
Shaka: So, I still want it.
Daddy: Ok
So there, my birthday celebration obsession begins. In case you didn’t know, November 10 is a holiday.
🙂
Above is me in my fav hairstyle, two French braids, daddy and I singing the birthday song and of course the MM hats.
Remember back in the day when your parents asked you to do something and you didn’t.
What happened?
If you had good parents you got chastised for being disobedient, maybe even a whooping.
As we get older things change just a little bit. Although our parents are no longer telling us what to do, God is.
God constantly gives us directions, whether we chose to follow is on us. However just like when we were kids not following our parents instructions had consequences. Trust me, if you think beatings from your parents hurt, try a whooping from God. It’s not physical, but if you’ve ever experienced it you’d much rather go pick your own switch. (Country people know what I’m talking about)
Don’t be that person, obey God.
I’m sure I’m not the only person God tells to do certain things. I was Ronnie’s only child, but I know I share God with everyone else. We’re all sisters and brothers.
As your sister I say, “You better do what our Father says. You don’t want a whooping do you?”
It’s no secret that I was a foodie in my prior life. I love food and until about three years ago I could eat whatever I want and not gain one single pound. Boy those were the days:)
Today I eat almost anything I want in moderation, then I run to the gym and work it off.
Anyway, so knowing that I love food, I’m always taking pics of my food and posting it for my friends to see. I’ve notice that recently people will take pics of their food and tag me in it on Facebook or send it to my phone.
Today my cousin sent a pic of some food he cooked, collards, lemon pepper fish, brown rice and hoe cake.
Right, hoe cake, which is basically like a corn bread patty.
Since this is not the first time he’s sent a meal that included a hoe cake, I said to him, “You love cooking hoe cakes.”
Then my inquisitive mind began to wonder, “Why are these called hoe cakes?”
I told him I was going to Google it, which I did. The answer I found is below, but first let me tell you what my grandma Annie Hardrick said.
I called her and asked why were they called hoe cakes and she didn’t really have an answer, but she told me how to cook them. “Hoe, cakes are like cornbread, cooked on top of the stove in a skillet.You cook one side, then once it’s brown you flip it and cook the other side,” my grandma said.She continued, “It’s made with meal and water, but you can also make flap jacks, with flour and water.”Grandma said flap jacks are thin and hoe cakes thick. I remember when I was little my other grandma made flap jacks all the time and served them with thick cane syrup. Shout out to Gram in Alabama.
Okay this is what my Goggle search said. “The term hoecake first occurred in 1745, The origin of the name is the method of preparation, field hands often cooked it on a shovel or hoe held to an open flame. Hoes designed for cotton fields were large and flat with a hole for the long handle to slide through; the blade would be removed and placed over a fire much like a griddle.”
Other names are johnny cake, shawnee cake and of course the ever so popular pancake! 🙂
For a variety of hoe cake recipes simply Google it or ask any elder in your family for their recipe. Enjoy
It’s that time of year for Dr. Hope’s Seven Days of Love.
Day 1: Love is perfect. So you may be thinking “How is Love perfect? There is no such thing as a perfect Love.” When I look back on life, I may ask myself the same question. How is love perfect when people…me…and you are so imperfect? We mess up, make mistakes, and are disappointed time and time again by those we so called “Love” or those who so called “Loved us”. Then I reflect a little harder, and when I look past all of the flawed people in my life (me included) and I see a Man that is flawless…a Man that never changes…a Man that has always been consistent and always shows up at the right place and the right time in my life. This Man is the definition of perfect…the definition of love…and the definition of Perfect Love. For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet…God is Love…and God is Perfect. If we strive to love others and ourselves the way He loves us we will always be satisfied. Stop looking for flawed people to love you the way that only a Perfect Man can.
Day 2: Love is fearless. 1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Have you ever been in a situation where you experienced feelings of fear, anxiety, insecurity, distress, or worry to the point of utter torment?! If so, those feelings are not products of Love. Love is fearless…it brings comfort, security, and peace. If you have been captivated by fear and worry, then I want to remind you that God’s Perfect Love can remove any fear and calm any troubled heart. Examine your situation, are you experiencing anxiety because you are trying to take control and you haven’t allowed God to take control over your life? Only God can put your fears to rest. Trust Him…Seek Him…put Him First. He desires for your heart to rejoice and be at peace. Don’t allow such situations to have power of your life. True love is fearless…and true love lies within Christ.
Day 3: Love knows no boundaries. What are you willing to do for those you love? Are you willing to cross all boundaries? Are you willing to give everything you got?Are you willing to do whatever it takes? If the answer is not yes, then you may want to reevaluate your level of love for those around you. True Love goes the extra mile, climbs mountains, and defies all odds. When circumstances say no, True Love says Yes! The greatest Demonstrator of love was willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice for those He loved. He loved to the point of death. Christ died for us all…friends, enemies, and strangers…because He loved. There are very few people I’m willing to die for…so I guess I got a lot more love growing to do! But having Christ as that example challenges me to learn to love greater, love deeper, and ultimately love with everything I got.
Day 4: Love is Universal. Whether you are in Dubai, Italy, Jamaica, China, or Mexico the language of love is still the same. How do you say I love you? By giving, caring, forgiving, and treating others with respect. No matter what language you speak, God created the language of love to connect every human being together as one. The greatest commandment of the bible is for us to love our neighbors, love our God, and love ourselves. This week let us practice the universal language of love wherever we go. No matter how much our enemies may hate us, they desire someone to love them too.
Day 5: Love Forgives. Have you ever been betrayed, abused, wronged, or disrespected? How did it make you feel? I know when people have done me wrong, I felt hurt, angry, or sometimes even bitter. The thought of that person would cause my blood to boil with unpleasant emotions. Sometimes this feeling would go on for months and even sometimes years! But what I didn’t know at the time was that the more anger and hurt that I kept bottled up inside against particular individuals, the less I was able to experience true peace and joy in my life. Unforgiveness is like a poisonous cancer. It starts out as a small offense and then continues to grow and destroys everything in its path…including your heart. The next thing you realize is that the person who offended you has moved on with their life while you are still stuck in the past of yesterday’s hurt. True Love is the exact opposite of unforgiveness, hate, pride, anger and bitterness. You can’t truly love somebody and hold unforgiveness against them at the same time. There is no perfect man that exists on this earth, yet still Christ died for us all…even after knowing that we would wrong Him time and time again. Take the time to reflect and ask yourself if you are holding a past offense against someone…if so, ask God to help you forgive them. Or maybe you’re the one that was the offender and maybe YOU need to ASK for forgiveness. Whichever one it is, once you take that step, I guarantee that you will begin to experience a more meaningful and peaceful life.
Day 6: Love Never Gives Up. Have you ever seen a mother whose child has been caught up in the wrong crowd? Whether it be violence, drugs, or rebellion…that mother will swear that her son or daughter is a good child. No matter how many times that child ends up in the court room, that mother is always there…right by their side. Now evvverybody else knows that Lil Johnny is crazy and deserves to be locked up…but not Mama…she still has faith in her little boy. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says “[love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”…meaning love never gives up. Regardless of what the situation looks like, when we truly love someone or something we never give up on it. Is your situation telling you that this will never get better, this situation will never change, you will never obtain that dream, or there is no point in moving forward? If yes, I challenge you to tell your situation that love endures. When everything else fails…love endures. When the storms and rain come…love endures. When all you got is challenged to its peak…yet love endures. Remember, don’t give up on love because love will never give up on you. How do I know this? Because just like that mother can continue to stand by her child’s side no matter what…how much MORE has God stood by our side when we know we didn’t deserve it. God is love and he has never given up on us. Likewise, if we want to demonstrate true love, we must never give up on it.
Day 7: Love Completes. No matter how hard some people try to fight it, everybody needs somebody to love. In the beginning…God created so many marvelous things and at the end of each creation He would examine His creation and said “It is good.” But do you know what God said after he created man? God said, “It is NOT GOOD for man to be alone…” and then God created a partner for him (Gen 2:18). Even God knows that we were all meant to have someone we can love in our lives. Now I’m not saying that this love relationship has to be a romantic relationship, but God places friends, family, and even strangers in our lives so that we can demonstrate His love towards them. The best way we can understand God’s love is by seeing unconditional love demonstrated from another individual. We all desire love and desire to be loved. The last thing God created was man and when man was created everything God created was complete. We are not complete until we find relationship and the relationship that completes us is the one we FIRST build with God Himself. Without a relationship with Him we will never find true completion. Next we must build relationships with others so that we can experience the fullness of God’s complete love toward us. Take a minute to think about someone you love. When was the last time you told them you love them? Today, reach out to someone you care about…call them and tell them that you love them or that you really appreciate them in your life. You’ll be surprised how quickly the love you give will be returned. ♥
Well that’s the end of Dr. Hopes 7 Days of Love! I hope you all enjoyed my little points of wisdom. I wish you all a HAPPY LOVE DAY and may your hearts be free to give and receive love from this day forward!
The tie of fatherhood, he calls them his “Trilogy” Marquise Jr., Madison and Mason.
The tie of pastor-ship, not only does he bless the pulpit of Central Metropolitan CME in Jacksonville, Fl. every Sunday, but he’s available 24-7 to his members when needed.
The tie of son, If there were an almost perfect child Charlotte, Rick and Ron has one. But since no one is perfect, we’ll settle for “almost perfect.”
The tie of big brother, Racheatu, Allen, Eugene, Malik,and Rainey has a great leader to look up to.
The tie of Shaka’s Favorite Cousin, that’s a special tie. You’ve always had my back and I’ll always have yours. Point, blank, period. #THEE end.com
The tie of nephew, friend, fraternity brother grandson, and cousin.
For all the ties you wear and for the blessing you are in all of our lives we say thank you and HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY!
It was just a year ago when Whitney Houston passed away at the young age of 48.
One of the greatest voices of our times lived in the spotlight as a singer, actress, mother, wife, daughter, and to lots of aspiring singers a mentor. To the world she was Whitney, but to her family, she was simply Nippy.
Perhaps one of the greatest pains a parent could have is burying their child, it’s always expected that the parent will go first.
For nearly a year Cissy Houston remained silent about her daughter’s untimely death, that’s until she sat down with Oprah Winfrey a few weeks ago. But an hour with the ‘Queen of Talk’ wasn’t enough, enter the memoir Remembering Whitney, My Story of Love, Loss and the Night Music Stopped.If you know anything about me it’s that Whitney Houston is my absolute favorite singer.
I read the book in two days and while there were a lot of things I was aware of, there were quite a bit I didn’t know, check them out.
Shaka’s 20 Most Shocking Revelations from Whitney’s Book
1.The name Nippy came from her daddy. He got it from a comic strip character who was always getting in trouble. Likewise, Whitney’s middle name Elizabeth was in honor of her paternal grandmother and Whitney came from an actress on television show her mom liked.
2.Whitney once lost a talent show to another young lady who ironically sang Greatest Love of All. Whitney came in second place and years later once she ‘made it’ ran into the lady again.
3.John Houston was still married to his first wife when he met Cissy (who had son Gary) from a previous brief marriage. It wasn’t until after Michael and Whitney were born that his divorce became final.
4.Bobbi Kristina almost ended up with the name “Tekatia or Takeka” according to Cissy, she suggested the name Christiana instead. “That child will have to carry that name through her whole life. You are not giving my grandbaby that name.”
5.It wasn’t Bobby Brown who introduced Whitney to drugs; it was her older brother Michael. (I never thought it was Bobby anyway, but didn’t know it was her brother) It was in the late 80s that Whitney’s long time friend/personal assistant Robyn Crawford came to Cissy about Whitney’s drug use. She told Cissy they both did drugs, but Whitney was addicted.
6.Whitney was an actress! Long before The Bodyguard, Waiting to Exhale and The Preacher’s Wife she had guest appearances on sitcoms. Silver Spoons and Gimme A Break were two mentioned in the book.
7.Remember the train wreck of a show Being Bobby Brown? Yeah, the reason there wasn’t a second season of it is because Whitney refused to be on so the producers didn’t want to do it without her.
8.Because Whitney refused to invite her dad’s new wife to her wedding to Bobby Brown, her dad refused to come. He eventually changed his mind saying he would come walk her down the aisle, but was leaving immediately afterward. He ended up staying.
9.A week before Whitney sang that unforgettable rendition of The Star Spangled Banner she was asked to record a “safety tape” kind of what Beyonce did right before the Inauguration. Whitney recorded the tape, but producers of the halftime show felt her version was too jazzy and asked her to do it over. Her father refused, “No, this is the way Whitney is going to sing the song. If you want her to sing it, this is it.” So there you have it. Whitney’s version of the Star Spangled Banner was not only unique and the best version to date, but she sang it LIVE… She told producers she couldn’t keep time with a song unless she was really singing it.
10.Whitney suffered a miscarriage in 1992 weeks after filming of The Bodyguard began. She was also secretly engaged to Bobby Brown, whom she married in July of that year.
11.Whitney and Bobby’s honeymoon was a ten day Mediterranean cruise, but Whitney didn’t want to go alone so she invited her brother Michael and wife Donna to come.
12.Remember the hit song “Shoop, Shoop” from the Waiting To Exhale Soundtrack? Well this is what happened. Babyface wrote the music and the first few lines of the song, then gave it to Whitney and asked her to do the rest. A week later Whitney didn’t have words for the song. As a joke she starting singing “Shoop, shoop” in place of words and everyone liked it so much Babyface wrote the rest of the song around it.
13.We all noticed the weight gain of Whitney during the last five yearsof her life, apparently the doctor prescribed steroids to help with her voice and it caused her to put on a few extra pounds.
14.During an interview with Essence magazine a writer asked Whitney her response to the public saying she wasn’t “black enough.” She responded, “What’s black?” I’ve been trying to figure this out since I’ve been in the business. I don’t know how to sing black and I don’t know how to sing white either. I know how to sing, music is not a color to me. It’s an art.”
15.The night Cissy found out Whitney died, she writes, “I didn’t know how I would make it through the next five minutes, let alone the rest of the night, or the long nights ahead. I didn’t understand how anyone could bear such a burden of sadness and pain. And then, someone put on music and I could hear the voice of Marvin Winans singing the great Andrae Crouch song. “God has spoken, so let the church say amen.”
16.Cissy also revealed something she’d never revealed about the day Whitney was born. A voice she heard as she held her baby girl in her arms. Cissy said she never said anything to anyone about it, and didn’t think about it again until February 11, 2012.
17.Cissy never liked for Whitney to say she was from “The Bricks” another term the projects New Jersey. She said her kids only lived there five weeks while she was on tour and they stayed with a family friend. “I guess in Nippy’s mind that gave her some street credit or something.” Cissy said it made her mad to hear Whitney say that. “You ain’t never lived in no damn projects! You ain’t from no bricks. You’re going to get a brick upside your head,” she’d tell her.
18.Cissy on Bobby, “Yet unlike a lot of people, I don’t blame Bobby for introducing Nippy to drugs or for the things that ended up happing to her, at the same time I also don’t believe he did much to help her…When it came to getting clean, he and Nippy never seem to be in the same place at the same time and that made the process much harder.”
19.The Preacher’s Wife movie almost didn’t happen because Bobby didn’t want her to take the role. Nobody knows why, but Cissy speculates that he was uncomfortable with her working so close to Denzel Washington.
20.Cissy confesses that she often wonders if Whitney loved her, if she was a good mother. She admits to being angry with Whitney, at the world and herself. “Was I a good mother? Was I too hard on her? And the worst one of all, could I have saved her somehow?
Pieces of Cobb 