A few days ago my 2-year-old randomly pointed to her dad, my husband and asked me “Mommy is that your daddy?”

I said “No, that’s your daddy, mommy’s daddy is in Heaven.”

She looked at me like, where is that?

End of conversation, but knowing my inquisitive daughter I know it will come up again.

Yesterday I took her to my dad’s grave. A place I’ve been less than nine times since he passed nearly nine years ago.

She pushed metal flowers in the ground next to his grave, then she wanted to play with the ABC’s (the engraving).

I felt my emotions coming, so before they could I suggested we sing happy birthday and go.

In that beautiful little toddler high pitch voice of hers joined by my husband and nephew she led the birthday song. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to granddaddy Ronnie, happy birthday to you. Yayyyyyy.”

She clapped and as we walked back to the car for the first I felt a little peace leaving his resting place.

Faith and granddaddy

Well today would’ve been my dad’s 56th birthday. He lived 50 long years and I know that’s not very long, but when you live with Sickle Cell Anemia the way my daddy did, every year counts. I remember my grandma telling me that the doctors said he would never walk or live to see his first birthday…Hahaha doctor, he lived to see 50 birthdays and he lived every single moment of those years. Anyway I’d like to share some pictures from his last birthday party. Enjoy

Daddy’s best friend Larry and I

Daddy and Larry

Me and daddy, I still have that dress

Daddy’s long time friend Cynthia who I call Aunt Cynthia and Aunt Janice, daddy’s youngest sister

Larry and Veronica Love

Daddy and his youngest brother Howard

Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Mule

A guest pinning money on dad

Me and Mule

Doing some line dance with daddy! He was so much fun!

Daddy and DOL co-workers

Daddy dancing with his oldest sister Bobbie

Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Mule

One of my best friends Shea. We didn’t even plan to dress alike.

The yummy cake.

For most of my life I was really shy. I didn’t talk to people unless I knew them, hell I hardly talked to people I did know.
I didn’t like taking pictures, I didn’t like to smile, and I was just a very mean little girl.
As I got older I began to come out of my shell, I’d say I was about 15-years-old when I finally blossomed. By 18 I got into local modeling, for me it was just for fun, but it boost my confidence a whole lot. I remember my first show at The World Congress Center, I modeled three outfits (formal, casual and African). My dad was unable to attend because he’d just had hip replacement surgery, but he watched the VHS. You would think I was walking a runway during New York Fashion Week.
He was so excited, “Look at my baby, go Shaka.” He kept rewinding and watching my part over again.
In 2005 I got the opportunity to represent my college newspaper during Clark Atlanta University’s Coronation. It was first time being in the spotlight in college, I was kind of nervous, but excited at the same time.
Nerveless, I invited everybody and their mama. It was a Thursday night and I knew it would be hard for most since it was a work week.
I’m sure I invited at least ten people including my aunt, cousin and his wife, stepmom, and a few more people.
Right as I was walking into the building to head backstage I saw my daddy. He was running unusually late. I stopped and one of my friends and a photographer for the newspaper Jerusalem Barnett (now Farmer) snapped a picture of us.
I had no idea who else was at the show. Even when I was on stage the lights were so bright I couldn’t see into the crowd.
After the program was over I went into the crowd and my dad was the only one there, everyone else had something to come up and didn’t make it.
What I remember about that night is that my dad got there right as the show was about to start, but he was the only one that showed up beaming from ear to ear.

Daddy and I at CAU’s Coronation. Me as 2005 Miss Panther Newspaper

There are lots of things my daddy did for me that as I look back on I realize he didn’t have to do.
One that sticks out in particular is the night of my office Christmas party back in 2004.
I was interning at Crossroads News in south DeKalb County, but living downtown in student housing near Clark Atlanta University.
My car was in the shop for something, radiator I think.
It was the night of my party and I was kicking it with a guy who was my escort for the night.
His name was Shawn, he was about six years older than my age of 24.
Anyway Shawn called me an hour before pick up time with some excuse about why he couldn’t go. I don’t remember if it was his kid, on again off again girlfriend or flat tire. I was pissed, here I am almost dressed and my date is a no-show.
My roommate Olicia and I began calling other people, but to no avail, so Olicia got dressed and said we’d take the train. Me? I only took the train when it was necessary, not to mention we would have to take trains and a few buses to get from downtown to the other side of town. It was also very cold and I also don’t do cold weather unless its absolutely necessary.
Soooooooo with options and time running low, I called my dad. I just knew he would say no because he hated for me to call him last minute. He shocked me by saying yes he would take me to my Christmas party. I told him that the dude I was supposed to go with couldn’t go now so my roommate was coming with me. He simply said “Un huh, I’m on my way.”
An hour or so later my dad showed up and to my surprise he was dressed in a navy blue suit. I thought maybe he had somewhere else to go, so I’m like “Dad where you going?”
He said, “I’m going to the party with yall.”
Olicia started cracking up, she was like “That’s what’s up Mr. Phillips, let’s go.”
I didn’t think much of it then, but as I look back at the one picture we took I realize how sweet that was of my dad. It is by far one of my fondest memories of him. He not only drove from Stone Mountain to downtown Atlanta to Lithonia for the party, but he also let me keep his car for the rest of the weekend. That’s the kind of daddy I had, I could always call on him. Thinking back, that was the best date I’d ever had. I told him thank you, but it was more so, thanks for the ride. Dear Daddy in Heaven, thanks for being my date that night.

Daddy and Me at Crossroads Christmas party!