Category Archives: Uncategorized

A tribute to my brother

I wrote this Aug. 2, 2020, just hours before my brother’s funeral. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to speak so I was gonna have my husband read it. I found strength though.

Cantreal, Black, UGod (see picture for explanation) Daddy, son, brother and friend. He answered to so many names, but my favorite was KK, the first to make me a big sister.

I remember the day he came home from the hospital, mama laid him on the bed and I laid next to him. He was a huge baby with big brown eyes, thick black curls and soft, bright skin.

Yes you heard me right, he was once light skin, 35 long years ago.

Growing up there was never, ever, ever a dull moment in our house and when Roman came a year later, it doubled.

I remember one day hanging clothes on the line to dry. My mom and stepdad were gone. Cantreal and Roman were playing outside and all of a sudden I see my stepdad’s blue 1957 Chevy truck rolling toward the bushes.

I ran toward the truck and all I saw was the top of KK’s head over the sterling wheel. He hops out the truck, while it’s still moving and I jump in and hit the brakes before putting it in park.

My heart is racing and he’s sitting on the step laughing uncontrollably. He had to be 6 or 7 years old. So I was like 12. Again, never a dull moment.

I remember finding my doll heads laying around. I’m looking everywhere for the body and can’t find them. One day Roman said follow me. I followed him outside, he pointed to the roof and there were my dolls. I’m like who did this (already knowing) and Roman said KK did it. They probably still up there, I forgot to look yesterday when I rode by there.

There were a few chill moments, like when we came home from school and watched our afternoon shows while eating snacks. Batman and Robin, Leave it To Beaver, Talespin and Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers. My daughter watches some of the same shows on Disney Plus and I always remind her how I watched with my brothers.

But in all of KK’s childhood mischief there was a genius. I’ve always told everyone, KK was the most intelligent sibling of us all.

KK was also the boldest and realest of us all. What you saw is what you got. He loved hard and he was loyal. If you were his friend you knew it. If you were his foe, you knew it. He told you to your face or he posted it and tagged you. And I loved that because you always knew where you stood with him.

I wish I had more time to make memories with him, we truly we on good terms and for that I’m thankful.

In recent years he’d call me randomly to shoot the breeze or say “check this out” whenever he said that I knew he was bout to vent or spill some good tea. And lately I’d been calling him more.

When the pandemic started I called and said now you know you need to stay in the house. He hated when I asked a lot of questions, but he’d answer, then say. Well alrighty then thanks for calling…

I’m grateful that the last seven years were spent building a legacy in his children Caiden and Maya. You wanna see KK smile or soften up, look at pics of him with his kids. Read post about his kids, have a conversation about his kids. Being a father was his best role yet. Your daddy lives on through you two Caiden and Maya!

He’ll definitely be missed, but I find solace in he’s healed. I was going through old Facebook posts of one of his 50 pages and in 2017 around Christmas he posted. “Tell Saint Nick I need a new heart.”

Well KK Christmas came early for you this year. You have a whole new body, you’re healed and pain free and for that reason alone I’m at peace.

So I’ve been asked a few times who was UGod? Why did he call himself that recently? Well a few years ago he had a few mild heart attacks, mild but serious. He almost died. Cantreal wasn’t very religious, but he had a relationship with God, in his own way. He even had a favorite gospel song that our baby sister Jada sang at his service. Anyway after his serious health problems and hospital stay a few years ago he said he woke up and all he could say was “It was you God, UGod.”

He wasn’t born with a middle name, but he left with one.

Happy Juneteenth Ya’ll

It’s Dalton’s second annual Juneteenth Celebration Weekend and what better way to celebrate than with a few familiar brown faces.

From newly elected Whitfield County Magistrate Judge Rodney Weaver, to the county’s NAACP president Michael E. Kelley II and wife Marisa, who coordinates the Juneteenth events. To entrepreneur Debbie Madden, king Milo Ramsey, banker Talisa Hale, sibling duo Brooklyn and Bronx Stallion, the Kent brothers and future leaders Faith Cobb and Braelin Rivers.

This #JunteenthPictureProject was coordinated by entrepreneur and founder of Scalp Candy Kisha Cooper and award-winning journalist Shaka Lias Cobb.

Juneteenth will be celebrated locally with a parade hosted by the NAACP in downtown Dalton starting at 10 a.m. Saturday at First Baptist Church and conclude at The Emery Center. A short program will be held on the steps of the center followed by a mural reveal at Miller Brothers Barbeque.

Everyone is invited and encouraged to attend.

Juneteenth, also referred to as Freedom Day, is celebrated in the African American community to commemorate the end of slavery.

Gen. Gordon Granger read the executive order on June 19, 1865 in Galveston, Texas stating that all slaves were free. This announcement was two years after the Emancipation of Proclamation.

“God’s time is always near. He set the North Star in the heavens; He gave me the strength in my limbs; He meant I should be free.” Harriet Tubman

Thanks to our participants

Row 1: Braelin Rivers, Rodney Weaver, Talisa Hale, Faith Cobb

Row 2. Bronx Stallion, Debbie Madden, Tarek Kent, Milo Ramsey

Row 3: A.J. Kent, Michael E. Kelley II. Marisa Kelley, Brooklyn Stallion

Bundle of unconditional love

Chris Rock jokes that a father’s only job is to make sure his daughter stays off the stripper pole. I chuckle every time I hear the commercial. It’s so true, no parent wants their daughter to strip for a living. But if she does I’m sure they’d find a way to deal with it. It’s called unconditional love. 

On December 30, 2013 I birth a seven pound three ounce bundle of unconditional love. I’ve loved before, but never like this. My daughter brings me so much joy. Everyday with her is a memory, experience and lesson. And no day has been the same.

When I learned she was growing inside of me it scared me. I wanted to protect her, keep her safe, make sure she made it here with ten fingers and toes and all her organs functioning right. 

Mission accomplished at 1:06 p.m. 

Then came more fear. 

What scared me most was failing her as a mom. I still pray that I’m doing right by her. I often wonder how can I give her what I never had. Then just as fast I whisper “Lord help me.”

Help me to show her unconditional love, for her to realize she’s beautiful, intelligent, fearless, comical, bold and inquisitive. Help me to protect her esteem and never doubt the potential she has. Help me to show her how much I love her even in times she may disappoint me in the future.

Not to omit my husband, because he’s definitely in this with me. But they have their bond and we have ours. She equally a daddy’s girl as she is a mama’s girl. 

I don’t have all the answers, I’m still learning as a mom. What I do know is that she’s my best teacher. 

Happy 3rd birthday to my little best friend. Mommy, Mom, Mama loves you. 

Review: “The Love That Woke My Heart” 

Whether it was a date night with your love, girls night with your besties or group outing with church members. You were in for a treat at Saturday night’s stage play “The Love That Woke My Heart.”

Drama, comedy, realness, friendship, family, faith and of course love were all themes throughout the nearly three hour play (which started on time, by the way) at the historic Wink Theatre in downtown Dalton, Ga. 

Detroit native, Kenyatta Burse, who recently made Dalton her home clearly put her heart and soul into the play. Wearing many hats, Burse wrote, produced, directed and even lent her amazing acting and singing gifts to the play. The play featured five original songs by Burse and one co-written with LaV Davis.

Above: Kenyatta Burse 

Behind  every great woman are even greater men and women, the cast of the play, many first timers could easily be seen on your favorite television shows. They were that good. 

Let’s start with the three women whom the play is  built around.  LaSasha (Kenyatta Burse), Jada (Venus Rice) and Konstance (Michele Satcher).
Sasha’s single hard working entrepreneur not really looking to mingle, that’s until she meets Shaun (Joseph Jennings) and all of that changes. They fall head over heels in love and he make plans to head down the aisle, but something (or someone) halts those plans.
Jada, is a hopeless romantic, she loves her husband Tim (Marcus Linder) and wants their marriage to work. However it’s hard to make it work when there is one, two maybe three additional people in the way.

Above: Jada plays no games when it comes to her man. Don’t move Tressa. 

Next is Konstance, THE FIRST BLACK PARTNER AT A MAJOR LAW FIRM as she loves to remind everyone. Konnie, as her friends calls her has no time for anything (unless it’s a glass of red wine) or anybody, until she meets Donnell (Horace Burse).


Above: Three is a crowd. Who will chose Donnell? Konstance or the “baby mama?” 

Take those three couples and add the realness of Jason (Damon “Big Boi” Gordon), the charm of Keith (Shurah White), messiness of Tresse (Jasmine Madden), cuteness of Katalaya (Danika Morton) , thugness of J-Roc (Kawan Powell), innocence of Nuna (Jennifer McLaurin), smarts of the Detective (Trenton O’Neal), clueless of Jasmine (Linnette Socorro-Perez) hood Shay (Alexis Carmichael), lies of Alana (Keisha Greenwade), desperation of Akeelah (Lisa Jackson) boldness of Aaron (Gene Jackson),patience of Greyland (Adrian Storey) and comedy of Selina (Dionne Rice Powell) and Chase (Vonta Macon) and you have a hit stage play, “The Love That Woke My Heart.”

Above: Some of the talented crew backstage. 

Here is what people are saying about the play…

Congratulations to all of you for a job well done! Especially to the CEO of Burse Productions: Kenyatta”Keke” Burse! Love you all and God bless. Pastor Pat Gross

I truly enjoyed it, you guys are definitely the bomb! I’m waiting in anticipation for the next play! Great job! Terri Betton

Play was outstanding, awesome cast, hats off to all….I laughed and truly enjoyed myself. Joanne Ellington 

It was really great to see the turnout for the play in Dalton put on by Burse Productions. The play was good and the acting and singing was really good! 

Congrats to the cast of the stage play “The Love That Woke My Heart” great job guys. Dennedy Wright

Giving thanks: Dalton and surrounding counties…THANK YOU! Your support at the Wink Theatre was unbelievable. I’m still in awe. Continue to be a blessing to your/our community and watch God change things! Debbie Madden
If you missed the play no worries. Burse Productions will have copies soon available for purchase. Contact them at (313) 676-8203. 

Living with HIV

Title: Living with HIV
Grandmother copes with deadly virus
Date: June 27, 2005

OCALA – Dee is unsure how she contracted the HIV virus. It could have been
from a blood transfusion in 1966, but she doubts it. The more likely
culprit, according to the 55-year-old grandmother, is a long-ago
relationship that went bad.
However she contracted the virus, Dee’s diagnosis hit her like a truck.

“I really didn’t believe it,” she said. “I was ready to kill myself.”

After the initial shock wore off, however, Dee began to learn to live with
it.

She still struggles with many aspects of the disease, she said. For one
thing, she guards her secret from her grandchildren and from neighbors..
For this story, she would consent only to using her first name.

She said she wants people to understand that having HIV is not an absolute
death sentence. But living takes work. She takes 20 pills a day, and
doesn’t dare miss a dose.

“You don’t say you’re going to skip them today, not if you want to live,”
she said.

Dee is one of an estimated 1.1 million people in the United State – and
34,508 in Florida – infected with the HIV virus, according to the Centers
for Disease Control and Prevention. Right here in Marion County, 468 people
live with HIV/AIDS.

Those tallies could go up today as health officials around the United
States participate in the 11th Annual National HIV Testing Day, a day
established by the National Association of People With AIDS to promote HIV
testing and AIDS education.

The theme this year is “Take the test, take control.” Locally, the Marion
County Health Department will administer tests for free at the main
office, 1801 S.E. 32nd Avenue in Ocala.

“We want our citizens to take control of their health,” said Johnny
Thompson, public information officer for the Health Department.

Dr. Nathan Grossman, director of the Health Department, agrees.

“It is important for the citizens of Marion County to know and understand
their HIV status,” Grossman said. “This knowledge allows individuals to
make timely and appropriate preventive and treatment decisions for
themselves.”

There are three main types of testing for HIV – blood, urine, and oral..
The Health Department will test blood.

Lake County will also will offer free testing at the Mt. Dora Clinic.

Soul Harvest Ministries and Project Healthy Choices will also will offer
free testing in the Ocala area.

Candace Lewis-Khufia, chief executive director of Project Healthy Choices,
said her organization will offer Ora-Sure testing beginning at 3 p.m.
Ora-Sure is the oral version of HIV testing.

For Dee, being diagnosed was a key event that allowed her to begin dealing
with the disease. But she bemoans what she says is a lack of resources for
HIV sufferers.

“I want them to get their heads out of the sands,” she said of the
community. “I want them to understand that anybody at any time can get
this.”

Thompson, however, said local health officials don’t have their heads in
the sand. The Health Department, he said, understands very well the plight
of HIV patients and works to get them help through such offerings as the
Medicare Waiver Program, AIDS Drug Assistance Program, and the Case
Management Program, all of which are in Marion County. There are also
federal programs to help citizens.

He said officials also can refer patients to resources in nearby counties,
such as the Ryan White Program in Alachua County.

“I hate for our citizen to feel that way,” he said of Dee’s criticism.

Dee’s gets by on faith and hope.

She said she relies on her faith in God and the power of prayer.

“I talk to Him every morning and I say good night to Him,” she said.

Beyond that, Dee takes life day by day, moment by moment.

“You don’t plan for anything,” she said, “because you don’t know what the
day is going to bring.”

Copyright (c) 2005 Ocala Star-Banner
Author: SHAKA LIAS STAFF WRITER
Copyright (c) 2005 Ocala Star-Banner

Whoopings from God

Remember back in the day when your parents asked you to do something and you didn’t.
What happened?
If you had good parents you got chastised for being disobedient, maybe even a whooping.
As we get older things change just a little bit. Although our parents are no longer telling us what to do, God is.
God constantly gives us directions, whether we chose to follow is on us. However just like when we were kids not following our parents instructions had consequences. Trust me, if you think beatings from your parents hurt, try a whooping from God. It’s not physical, but if you’ve ever experienced it you’d much rather go pick your own switch. (Country people know what I’m talking about)
Don’t be that person, obey God.
I’m sure I’m not the only person God tells to do certain things. I was Ronnie’s only child, but I know I share God with everyone else. We’re all sisters and brothers.
As your sister I say, “You better do what our Father says. You don’t want a whooping do you?”

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Seven Days of Love with Hope Anusiem

It’s that time of year for Dr. Hope’s Seven Days of Love.
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Day 1: Love is perfect. So you may be thinking “How is Love perfect? There is no such thing as a perfect Love.” When I look back on life, I may ask myself the same question. How is love perfect when people…me…and you are so imperfect? We mess up, make mistakes, and are disappointed time and time again by those we so called “Love” or those who so called “Loved us”. Then I reflect a little harder, and when I look past all of the flawed people in my life (me included) and I see a Man that is flawless…a Man that never changes…a Man that has always been consistent and always shows up at the right place and the right time in my life. This Man is the definition of perfect…the definition of love…and the definition of Perfect Love. For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet…God is Love…and God is Perfect. If we strive to love others and ourselves the way He loves us we will always be satisfied. Stop looking for flawed people to love you the way that only a Perfect Man can.

Day 2: Love is fearless. 1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Have you ever been in a situation where you experienced feelings of fear, anxiety, insecurity, distress, or worry to the point of utter torment?! If so, those feelings are not products of Love. Love is fearless…it brings comfort, security, and peace. If you have been captivated by fear and worry, then I want to remind you that God’s Perfect Love can remove any fear and calm any troubled heart. Examine your situation, are you experiencing anxiety because you are trying to take control and you haven’t allowed God to take control over your life? Only God can put your fears to rest. Trust Him…Seek Him…put Him First. He desires for your heart to rejoice and be at peace. Don’t allow such situations to have power of your life. True love is fearless…and true love lies within Christ.

Day 3: Love knows no boundaries. What are you willing to do for those you love? Are you willing to cross all boundaries? Are you willing to give everything you got?Are you willing to do whatever it takes? If the answer is not yes, then you may want to reevaluate your level of love for those around you. True Love goes the extra mile, climbs mountains, and defies all odds. When circumstances say no, True Love says Yes! The greatest Demonstrator of love was willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice for those He loved. He loved to the point of death. Christ died for us all…friends, enemies, and strangers…because He loved. There are very few people I’m willing to die for…so I guess I got a lot more love growing to do! But having Christ as that example challenges me to learn to love greater, love deeper, and ultimately love with everything I got.

Day 4: Love is Universal. Whether you are in Dubai, Italy, Jamaica, China, or Mexico the language of love is still the same. How do you say I love you? By giving, caring, forgiving, and treating others with respect. No matter what language you speak, God created the language of love to connect every human being together as one. The greatest commandment of the bible is for us to love our neighbors, love our God, and love ourselves. This week let us practice the universal language of love wherever we go. No matter how much our enemies may hate us, they desire someone to love them too.

Day 5: Love Forgives. Have you ever been betrayed, abused, wronged, or disrespected? How did it make you feel? I know when people have done me wrong, I felt hurt, angry, or sometimes even bitter. The thought of that person would cause my blood to boil with unpleasant emotions. Sometimes this feeling would go on for months and even sometimes years! But what I didn’t know at the time was that the more anger and hurt that I kept bottled up inside against particular individuals, the less I was able to experience true peace and joy in my life. Unforgiveness is like a poisonous cancer. It starts out as a small offense and then continues to grow and destroys everything in its path…including your heart. The next thing you realize is that the person who offended you has moved on with their life while you are still stuck in the past of yesterday’s hurt. True Love is the exact opposite of unforgiveness, hate, pride, anger and bitterness. You can’t truly love somebody and hold unforgiveness against them at the same time. There is no perfect man that exists on this earth, yet still Christ died for us all…even after knowing that we would wrong Him time and time again. Take the time to reflect and ask yourself if you are holding a past offense against someone…if so, ask God to help you forgive them. Or maybe you’re the one that was the offender and maybe YOU need to ASK for forgiveness. Whichever one it is, once you take that step, I guarantee that you will begin to experience a more meaningful and peaceful life.

Day 6: Love Never Gives Up. Have you ever seen a mother whose child has been caught up in the wrong crowd? Whether it be violence, drugs, or rebellion…that mother will swear that her son or daughter is a good child. No matter how many times that child ends up in the court room, that mother is always there…right by their side. Now evvverybody else knows that Lil Johnny is crazy and deserves to be locked up…but not Mama…she still has faith in her little boy. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says “[love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”…meaning love never gives up. Regardless of what the situation looks like, when we truly love someone or something we never give up on it. Is your situation telling you that this will never get better, this situation will never change, you will never obtain that dream, or there is no point in moving forward? If yes, I challenge you to tell your situation that love endures. When everything else fails…love endures. When the storms and rain come…love endures. When all you got is challenged to its peak…yet love endures. Remember, don’t give up on love because love will never give up on you. How do I know this? Because just like that mother can continue to stand by her child’s side no matter what…how much MORE has God stood by our side when we know we didn’t deserve it. God is love and he has never given up on us. Likewise, if we want to demonstrate true love, we must never give up on it.

Day 7: Love Completes. No matter how hard some people try to fight it, everybody needs somebody to love. In the beginning…God created so many marvelous things and at the end of each creation He would examine His creation and said “It is good.” But do you know what God said after he created man? God said, “It is NOT GOOD for man to be alone…” and then God created a partner for him (Gen 2:18). Even God knows that we were all meant to have someone we can love in our lives. Now I’m not saying that this love relationship has to be a romantic relationship, but God places friends, family, and even strangers in our lives so that we can demonstrate His love towards them. The best way we can understand God’s love is by seeing unconditional love demonstrated from another individual. We all desire love and desire to be loved. The last thing God created was man and when man was created everything God created was complete. We are not complete until we find relationship and the relationship that completes us is the one we FIRST build with God Himself. Without a relationship with Him we will never find true completion. Next we must build relationships with others so that we can experience the fullness of God’s complete love toward us. Take a minute to think about someone you love. When was the last time you told them you love them? Today, reach out to someone you care about…call them and tell them that you love them or that you really appreciate them in your life. You’ll be surprised how quickly the love you give will be returned. ♥

Well that’s the end of Dr. Hopes 7 Days of Love! I hope you all enjoyed my little points of wisdom. I wish you all a HAPPY LOVE DAY and may your hearts be free to give and receive love from this day forward!

Remembering Whitney: Shaka’s Top 20 Revelations From Cissy’s Book

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It was just a year ago when Whitney Houston passed away at the young age of 48.

One of the greatest voices of our times lived in the spotlight as a singer, actress, mother, wife, daughter, and to lots of aspiring singers a mentor. To the world she was Whitney, but to her family, she was simply Nippy.

Perhaps one of the greatest pains a parent could have is burying their child, it’s always expected that the parent will go first.

For nearly a year Cissy Houston remained silent about her daughter’s untimely death, that’s until she sat down with Oprah Winfrey a few weeks ago. But an hour with the ‘Queen of Talk’ wasn’t enough, enter the memoir Remembering Whitney, My Story of Love, Loss and the Night Music Stopped.If you know anything about me it’s that Whitney Houston is my absolute favorite singer.

I read the book in two days and while there were a lot of things I was aware of, there were quite a bit I didn’t know, check them out.

Shaka’s 20 Most Shocking Revelations from Whitney’s Book

1.The name Nippy came from her daddy. He got it from a comic strip character who was always getting in trouble. Likewise, Whitney’s middle name Elizabeth was in honor of her paternal grandmother and Whitney came from an actress on television show her mom liked.

2.Whitney once lost a talent show to another young lady who ironically sang Greatest Love of All. Whitney came in second place and years later once she ‘made it’ ran into the lady again.

3.John Houston was still married to his first wife when he met Cissy (who had son Gary) from a previous brief marriage. It wasn’t until after Michael and Whitney were born that his divorce became final.

4.Bobbi Kristina almost ended up with the name “Tekatia or Takeka” according to Cissy, she suggested the name Christiana instead. “That child will have to carry that name through her whole life. You are not giving my grandbaby that name.”

5.It wasn’t Bobby Brown who introduced Whitney to drugs; it was her older brother Michael. (I never thought it was Bobby anyway, but didn’t know it was her brother) It was in the late 80s that Whitney’s long time friend/personal assistant Robyn Crawford came to Cissy about Whitney’s drug use. She told Cissy they both did drugs, but Whitney was addicted.

6.Whitney was an actress! Long before The Bodyguard, Waiting to Exhale and The Preacher’s Wife she had guest appearances on sitcoms. Silver Spoons and Gimme A Break were two mentioned in the book.

7.Remember the train wreck of a show Being Bobby Brown? Yeah, the reason there wasn’t a second season of it is because Whitney refused to be on so the producers didn’t want to do it without her.

8.Because Whitney refused to invite her dad’s new wife to her wedding to Bobby Brown, her dad refused to come. He eventually changed his mind saying he would come walk her down the aisle, but was leaving immediately afterward. He ended up staying.

9.A week before Whitney sang that unforgettable rendition of The Star Spangled Banner she was asked to record a “safety tape” kind of what Beyonce did right before the Inauguration. Whitney recorded the tape, but producers of the halftime show felt her version was too jazzy and asked her to do it over. Her father refused, “No, this is the way Whitney is going to sing the song. If you want her to sing it, this is it.” So there you have it. Whitney’s version of the Star Spangled Banner was not only unique and the best version to date, but she sang it LIVE… She told producers she couldn’t keep time with a song unless she was really singing it.

10.Whitney suffered a miscarriage in 1992 weeks after filming of The Bodyguard began. She was also secretly engaged to Bobby Brown, whom she married in July of that year.

11.Whitney and Bobby’s honeymoon was a ten day Mediterranean cruise, but Whitney didn’t want to go alone so she invited her brother Michael and wife Donna to come.

12.Remember the hit song “Shoop, Shoop” from the Waiting To Exhale Soundtrack? Well this is what happened. Babyface wrote the music and the first few lines of the song, then gave it to Whitney and asked her to do the rest. A week later Whitney didn’t have words for the song. As a joke she starting singing “Shoop, shoop” in place of words and everyone liked it so much Babyface wrote the rest of the song around it.

13.We all noticed the weight gain of Whitney during the last five yearsof her life, apparently the doctor prescribed steroids to help with her voice and it caused her to put on a few extra pounds.

14.During an interview with Essence magazine a writer asked Whitney her response to the public saying she wasn’t “black enough.” She responded, “What’s black?” I’ve been trying to figure this out since I’ve been in the business. I don’t know how to sing black and I don’t know how to sing white either. I know how to sing, music is not a color to me. It’s an art.”

15.The night Cissy found out Whitney died, she writes, “I didn’t know how I would make it through the next five minutes, let alone the rest of the night, or the long nights ahead. I didn’t understand how anyone could bear such a burden of sadness and pain. And then, someone put on music and I could hear the voice of Marvin Winans singing the great Andrae Crouch song. “God has spoken, so let the church say amen.”

16.Cissy also revealed something she’d never revealed about the day Whitney was born. A voice she heard as she held her baby girl in her arms. Cissy said she never said anything to anyone about it, and didn’t think about it again until February 11, 2012.

17.Cissy never liked for Whitney to say she was from “The Bricks” another term the projects New Jersey. She said her kids only lived there five weeks while she was on tour and they stayed with a family friend. “I guess in Nippy’s mind that gave her some street credit or something.” Cissy said it made her mad to hear Whitney say that. “You ain’t never lived in no damn projects! You ain’t from no bricks. You’re going to get a brick upside your head,” she’d tell her.

18.Cissy on Bobby, “Yet unlike a lot of people, I don’t blame Bobby for introducing Nippy to drugs or for the things that ended up happing to her, at the same time I also don’t believe he did much to help her…When it came to getting clean, he and Nippy never seem to be in the same place at the same time and that made the process much harder.”

19.The Preacher’s Wife movie almost didn’t happen because Bobby didn’t want her to take the role. Nobody knows why, but Cissy speculates that he was uncomfortable with her working so close to Denzel Washington.

20.Cissy confesses that she often wonders if Whitney loved her, if she was a good mother. She admits to being angry with Whitney, at the world and herself. “Was I a good mother? Was I too hard on her? And the worst one of all, could I have saved her somehow?

Pieces of You: A Father’s Double Tragedy

The first time I talked to Carlos Jeff I didn’t know what to expect. His story is one I was happy to tell, but at the same time wish I didn’t have to. His voice was friendly as if I’m a long-lost home girl. He jokes and we laugh, I wasn’t expecting to laugh, just as he wasn’t expecting what happened on June 7, 2011. Here is his story.

The Invitation…

It was a hot day, first week of summer vacation, as my boys played basketball, their favorite pastime at their mother’s home. We planned to hang out, nothing special, just get a little food and maybe catch a movie later. As Barbara, their mother pulled into the driveway from work  the neighbor asked if Cameron and Bryce would like to come play in her pool with a few boys who were visiting. Barbara said yes and relayed the message to them. I’m sure they were very excited because this was their first time being invited to the neighbor’s pool since moving into that home five years prior. Barbara told them get their swim trunks and go over and introduce themselves to the neighbor’s visitors.

Family First…

My sons were incredibly rambunctious and  full of life. They enjoyed sports, singing in the choir, their dogs, but more than anything they simply enjoyed being together. As a family we did almost everything together. I, as their father, did a very unconventional job as a stay at home parent for the five children that I raised with Barbara. The children were basically a staircase in ages being two years apart. Cayla,16, Carlos 14, Bria 12, Cameron would have turned 11 on May 9 of this year and Bryce 9. When the boys got the news that they would be swimming they ran to get their trunks. It was a Tuesday evening and just that previous Sunday I had taken the children to a state park for a dip in the lake. We played for a few hours in the water, for the boys loved to water like most kids do when it’s hot, but were never formally trained to swim. A previous drowning incident to a cousin deterred many of our family members from sending the kids to a pool. Barbara told the boys to go over and speak as she undressed from work. She told them she would go to the store for snacks and drinks to share with their new friends.

Tragedy within minutes…

When the boys went to the neighbor’s they entered on the deep end of a nine foot pool. There was a slide and a diving board. Being the first time over they didn’t know the layout of the pool. As they saw the other boys, who could not swim either, playing in the shallow end, they did not realize the difference in-depth in sides of the pool. Bryce went down the slide into the nine foot water. When he went under and realized the depth he immediately panicked. Cameron, always playing the role of big brother jumped in to try to help him. It was a no win situation as both boys began to fight to survive at that point. The boys who watched jumped out and ran for help. There were three adults at the home and none knew how to swim! They watched in horror not knowing what to do to save my sons. One of them ran into the streets begging passing cars to stop and help. She was finally able to get someone to stop. An older man, who lived not far away was passing by with his wife on their way to get dinner. He jumped into the pool and pulled them out, but it was too late. Fireman showed up not soon after and began to perform CPR. The boys fought for their lives in the ambulance.

The phone call…

I received a call from Barbara as the ambulance was loading the boys into the back. I was on my way back to their home to pick them up. If I had just gotten there twenty minutes earlier I would’ve saved them or prevented the accident  altogether. I am a trained swimmer and a very strong one also. Just twenty minutes of time has meant a huge difference in my entire life. It has taught me to value every moment I share with my loved ones so much more.

No happy ending…

They boys were two of the strongest physically that one could meet for a 10 and 8-year-old. I am an ex-college football player and would use fitness not only to stay in shape but also as a disciplinary method. The doctors mentioned that they had never seen young boys with fully developed six packs and arms their size. This strength allowed them to hang on longer than most under the circumstances. There is nothing worse than seeing your children fighting for their lives, being shocked by paramedics to jumpstart their hearts. We’ve all seen the hospital shows and sit in awe as the patients overcome tragic accidents or illnesses. However, in this case there would be no happy ending. Bryce, 8-years-old, was under the water longer, around 15 minutes. He fought for two days. It was June 9 and the birthday of my oldest son Carlos Jr. We decided we could not allow them to pronounce him dead on his brother’s birthday. I didn’t want Carlos to have to live with that type of grief every year that his special day came. We were able to keep him on the life support an extra day. Cameron fought until Saturday. I really believe even in death that he wanted to protect his little brother and be with him. When Bryce passed away my family was so consumed with sadness that they all left the hospital, leaving me there alone with Cameron. I remember praying and speaking to him for hours. We were very close. He not only looked exactly like me as a kid, but enjoyed the same things as I did. Six months earlier to their accident I moved  to Atlanta to pursue a music career. Cameron would email me every morning before getting dressed for school. His messages usually read something like…”Dad, I’m up early and thinking of you. I want to be the first thing you think about when you get up today”.  I really miss those small things.

A preventable death…

When a tragedy strikes your life we go through a ton of mixed emotions. I’ve dealt with the emotions of guilt, shame, anger and pain the most. The guilt kicks in when you think about the things that you might have done that could have prevented this incident. Why didn’t I teach them to swim? Why wasn’t I there to protect them? The anger issues were huge for me because I felt that the adults on that day made poor decisions allowing the boys to enter a nine foot pool with limited supervision. No one there could swim nor did the owners have any life saving devices like floats or a hook to fish them out. My son’s death was preventable.

Helping others…

During the week friends and family poured in from across the nation. Many gave money to help our family in any way we needed. I come from a family rooted in the Christian belief. On Sundays we always attended church together, in fact, my children and a niece were the root of the children’s choir. Bryce was grooming  for the lead. He loved to sing and dance and loved to joke about how the women would love him soon. We decided as a family that we had to find a way to bring light to our tragedy and see if we could prevent other parents from feeling a similar pain. We first decided to donate their organs to someone in need. I think of the little girl who received Cameron’s heart regularly. Does she know how much loved poured in and out of that heart? Can she feel his presence each time she breaths?

The Legacies…

We were soon approached with an idea of donating to the Cincinnati Recreation Commission’s (CRC) I CAN SWIM PROGRAM. CRC decided to make a special rate for their lessons in honor of my sons. They would offer four lessons for $20 to each kid who signed up. Our first contribution was a check for over $3,300. It would be a joy to know we could save over 150 kids lives with this donation. After the check given to the CRC I went home feeling bittersweet. I felt like although this was a big donation it was by far not what my sons lives were worth. I decided to continue to seek out my friends to donate more money. I felt that more awareness was needed to  shed light on drownings. I found out that drowning was the second biggest cause of death of children under 14. Why is it not talked about more? Why are more provisions placed in areas of danger? Since the initial monies were given to CRC I decided to begin the process of creating a non-profit organization to raise monies to pay for swim lessons for the kids of Cincinnati, but also to fight for amended laws for pool ownership. Almost $20,000 was presented to CRC via friends or supporters. This following year, as we grow stronger, I hope to raise six figures for our new foundation, The Cameron and Bryce Jeff Memorial Foundation. I’m seeking donors, as well as volunteers that would help with legal issues, fund-raising, and as motivational speakers to go out to public pools and get the word of water safety out  to the masses.

God and faith…

Many have asked me how I have remained strong throughout this situation. We never know what we can handle until we are faced with it. First of all, my faith in God has been the main factor to me remaining strong. I always thought that if you give your battle to God he will see you through it. I’m faithful in my belief that I will see my sons again in heaven when I pass. Though it is a long, hard walk daily without them present, I am able to walk it, head high, knowing my sons are with God and their legacy shall remain alive for years to come. It’s also through the overwhelming amount of support from family, friends, and strangers that I am able to smile. A few close friends have kept me smiling daily. I also get a huge amount of therapy helping others. Being able to speak with other parents who have a dying child has lifted me. I try to give them encouragement and uplift them in their time of need. Music and poetry have also played a huge role in my recovery. Whenever I’m down I play songs that give me good memories, or I write to ease my mind. One of my favorite songs is Fatherhood, performed by artist from my label Straightface Entertainment Group. This song speaks volumes about the love we have for our children as fathers.

Carlo’s Plea…

If you learn anything from me I hope it would be these things: One, always show your children how much you love them by simply putting time into them. Gifts and material items wear off but genuine love and affection doesn’t. Children love back unconditionally. Secondly, pay attention to the small details in your decision-making. A small mistake can cost you a lifetime of grief. And finally, please teach your children to swim. It’s vital because everywhere you go on Earth is surrounded by water. Don’t let your fears prohibit your learning, nor your circumstances. Live each day like it is your last, for it very well may be.

For more information about how you can help or donate visit Cameron and Bryce Jeff Memorial Facebook Page. You can also contact Carlos Jeff there.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cameron-and-Bryce-Jeff-Memorial-Foundation/209518269112876

Written by Carlos Jeff

Edited by Shaka L. Cobb (c) 2012

Editor’s note: After spending close to an hour on the phone with Carlos and receiving his email I decided no one, including me could tell the story the way he did. It is for that reason I posted it as is, with the exception of sub-titles and minor corrections.

Pieces of You: The Big Chop

Since cutting her shoulder length hair at the end of last year Shernise Shaw says she feels free.

Free to swim, free to walk in the rain, free to do other things with the $120 she spent a month going to the salon every Friday faithfully after work.

Her reason for the big chop, also known as BC was simple, “I was tired of my hair thinning, putting unnecessary chemicals in my body and being a slave to my hair.”

Giving up chemicals is becoming a big  fashion statement for women of color. While some decide to rock two strand twist, braids, bantu knots and other natural styles many are simply cutting it all off.

Singer Chrisette Michele said of her 2010 big chop, “Truth is I cut my hair for freedom, not beauty.”

Other celebs have walked the infamous red carpet rocking little to no hair including, Viola Davis, Nicole Ari Parker and Kim Cole.

While some decide on the big chop many aren’t ready for such a huge change. A good amount of the ladies on the Facebook Page Transitioning to Natural are some of them, the group has over 5,000 members.

Unlike most women who are taking it one step at a time transitioning from perms, Shaw didn’t.

“I waited until I was ready for the change, I didn’t waste time and money trying to transition,” she said.

On Dec. 16, Shaw made the decision to sit in a salon chair and watch her tresses fall to the floor.

While there are no regrets, she admits that she is ready for her

hair to grow back. However she is enjoying having a new look after wearing the same one for ten years.

Shaw said since cutting her hair life has changed literally; before she would miss events because of the rain. “I protected my hair at all cost,” she said.

“I am living now,” she says. Shaw advises women thinking about the big chop to go for it. The biggest misconception she said is that it’s expensive and time consuming.

“You just have to learn how to manage it,” she said.

Shernise is a school librarian who enjoys reading and eating good food.

 

Written by Shaka L. Cobb (c) 2012