Pieces of You: The Big Chop

Since cutting her shoulder length hair at the end of last year Shernise Shaw says she feels free.

Free to swim, free to walk in the rain, free to do other things with the $120 she spent a month going to the salon every Friday faithfully after work.

Her reason for the big chop, also known as BC was simple, “I was tired of my hair thinning, putting unnecessary chemicals in my body and being a slave to my hair.”

Giving up chemicals is becoming a big  fashion statement for women of color. While some decide to rock two strand twist, braids, bantu knots and other natural styles many are simply cutting it all off.

Singer Chrisette Michele said of her 2010 big chop, “Truth is I cut my hair for freedom, not beauty.”

Other celebs have walked the infamous red carpet rocking little to no hair including, Viola Davis, Nicole Ari Parker and Kim Cole.

While some decide on the big chop many aren’t ready for such a huge change. A good amount of the ladies on the Facebook Page Transitioning to Natural are some of them, the group has over 5,000 members.

Unlike most women who are taking it one step at a time transitioning from perms, Shaw didn’t.

“I waited until I was ready for the change, I didn’t waste time and money trying to transition,” she said.

On Dec. 16, Shaw made the decision to sit in a salon chair and watch her tresses fall to the floor.

While there are no regrets, she admits that she is ready for her

hair to grow back. However she is enjoying having a new look after wearing the same one for ten years.

Shaw said since cutting her hair life has changed literally; before she would miss events because of the rain. “I protected my hair at all cost,” she said.

“I am living now,” she says. Shaw advises women thinking about the big chop to go for it. The biggest misconception she said is that it’s expensive and time consuming.

“You just have to learn how to manage it,” she said.

Shernise is a school librarian who enjoys reading and eating good food.

 

Written by Shaka L. Cobb (c) 2012

Pieces Of You: Gone

When I look back, it seems like everything about how my day started on May 16, 2007 was preparing me for the news I was to receive later that evening. I’d awakened around 8 a.m. and immediately remembered that it was the same day that my dad was to have outpatient surgery to have a hernia removed. He had mentioned it to me three days earlier during Mother’s Day dinner at my grandma’s. He’d read the concerned look on my face and assured me that he’d be “fine” in time for my graduation from Clark Atlanta University less than a week away. I was a little worried but I knew that daddy wouldn’t miss my special day for anything.

It also happened to be my best friend Stephanie’s birthday and I’d made a mental note to call her later and stop by the mall for a gift to bring to her dinner party later on that night. I knew this would be an especially hard celebration. Just nine months earlier her dad had died in a tragic accident days before his 50th birthday. I felt terrible about the fact that her dad would not be there for her birthday. I thought to myself how lucky I was to still have my daddy around and that I wouldn’t know what to do if anything ever happened to him.

I turned on CNN to learn some bad news. It had been one month to the day of the deadly Virginia Tech rampage. Then I heard that Martin Luther King Jr.’s daughter, Yolanda King, had died unexpectedly. Yolanda King? No! Everybody loves the Kings. Hearing about her death felt like losing an aunt. My eyes welled up with tears and I was overcome with sadness. When I went to the mall for Stephanie’s gift, an eerie feeling flooded through me as I passed the sympathy section in the card store. My Uncle Howard, my dad’s younger brother, immediately popped into my mind. I remembered thinking how sad my dad would be if something happened to him. By then it was noon and I decided to check on my dad who should have been home recovering by then. He answered on the third ring but I could tell that he was still groggy so I kept it brief.

Me: Daddy?

Dad: Yeah.

Me: You home?

Dad: Yeah.

Me: You alright?

Dad: Yeah (weakly).

Me: OK, I was just checking on you I will call you later.

Dad: Okay.

Me: Bye.

I never imagined that such a simple conversation would one day mean so much to me. What I didn’t know was that he was in terrible pain during our talk. At exactly 4:59 p.m. as I was dressing for the night, my Uncle Howard called my cell. I’d considered letting it roll over straight to voicemail, but thankfully decided against it. He told me that my dad was having complications from the surgery and I needed to get to the hospital quick. I continued dressing, but less than a minute later panic set in and I grabbed my keys and ran to my car. While maneuvering Atlanta streets I dialed my daddy’s number and his wife answered. She told me that she was riding in the ambulance with him and he wasn’t doing too well.

“Is my dad dead,” I asked? She paused before saying no, but emphasized that it didn’t look good. I don’t know how I made it to the hospital in the middle of Atlanta ’s rush hour, but when I got there I double parked, left my emergency lights blinking and sprinted inside. Through the double doors I found the room where my aunt and step-mom were waiting.

“Where is my daddy,” I asked, terrified about what answer I’d get.

“He’s gone,” my aunt responded, her voice trailing off.

”Gone where,” I asked. Gone for x-rays, surgery, a soda what?

She didn’t answer, but her face said it all.

The last thing I remember was screaming, “No my daddy’s not dead; my daddy didn’t leave me, he’s never left me.”

Everything went in slow motion like a dream after that; my uncle picking me up, my flip flops falling off, my phone and keys falling to the floor, the man in the white jacket assisting my uncle, the lady sitting in the chair with tears rolling down her face as she repeated the words,” I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I don’t know how long time stood still but when the clock started ticking again my hair was a mess, I was barefoot and I just wanted to see my daddy for myself. When I walked into the room his eyes were wide open, he still had a tube in his mouth and tubes stuck to his chest. He looked normal, I touched his face, and it was still soft and warm. I kissed his cheeks and rubbed my fingers across his thick eyebrows as I held his hand.

The next morning it still felt like a dream when I awoke with his picture next to me. I instinctively picked up my cell to call my daddy; he didn’t answer. I left a message, hoping, no praying, that he would call back. He always called me back, but he never did.

My dad’s been gone for 13 years now and it’s been tough adjusting to life without him. Even though I know that in his death he is still very much with me, I’ll admit that feelings of betrayal, sadness, anger and fear often overtake me. What gives me solace is knowing that God gave me 27 years with an absolutely amazing, supportive and loving father. I thank the Lord for the fact that I’m not one of those girls – and I know many – whose dad walked out on her. I cherish the memories that we shared and I give gratitude to God for blessing me with such a wonderful man. In losing my father, I can see so clearly that because of him I am the amazing woman I am today.

Written by: Shaka Lias Cobb

Pieces of You: Sherane’s Vintage Closet

If you have ever looked at an old picture of women in your family and thought to yourself that’s one blouse, dress or pair of shoes I’d love to have, then you’ll enjoy this piece.

Let’s face it; we have some fierce styles now, but nothing like the clothes from past eras.

Enter Sherane’s Vintage Closet, a boutique that specializes in selling original and redesigned vintage fashion for modern day ladies and gentlemen.

The idea was birthed in 2008 by Sherane Heron, a 28-year-old

New Jersey native who expanded her hobby of thrift shopping.

“I started doing trunk shows around the city of Atlanta in trendy restaurant and lounges,” Heron said. “The events were called ‘Sherane’s Vintage Closet presents EAT. SIP. SHOP’ and I wanted to keep the same theme (excluding EAT) when I got a regular physical location.”

Fast-forward to now, SVC is located in the heart of Midtown, in a trendy upstairs loft transformed to a huge…you guessed it vintage closet.

Heron said they collect vintage and gently worn fashion daily. The selection runs the gamut.

“We have the glamorous sequin gowns which adorn our walls to the fancy blouse that ladies wear to both work and happy hour, Heron said.

Tawni Fears agrees with the versatility of SVC, “Be it for a birthday, holiday, gift for someone, or just a cute top or earrings, she never disappoints when it comes to her finds,” said Fears, who works at Disturbing Tha Peace Records and owns The Tawni Logues.

Video Producer, Maya Table is also a regular at SVC.

“I love that each piece is unique and can be altered to fit you by her in house alteration specialist, said Table, who admits that 40 percent of her wardrobe was purchased from SVC.

“Shopping at Sherane’s Vintage Closet is great because each item is hand selected by Sherane,” Table said.

In addition to Heron’s personal picks, she has buyers who purchase vintage pieces for her, additionally she attends estate sales, perform closet clean outs and do consignments.

Eras at SVC date back to the 1940s through 1990s. Prices range from $5 to $300, there is also a rental program for their formal selection. Although there aren’t as many male selections as women; she does have male shoppers, R&B singer Miguel is one of them.

Heron, who attended high school and college in Atlanta hasn’t always been into fashion.

“As a child I was never the fashionista,” she admits. “I was pretty much a late bloomer when it came to discovering my own identity, therefore Sherane then is not Sherane now.”

Fashion isn’t her passion, she admits. “Creative ministry is where my heart beats.”

Heron said she has a gift of teaching, which she applies to SVC.

“If I wasn’t running SVC I would probably be a college professor.”

Heron holds two degrees, a Bachelor of Art from Clark Atlanta University(Mass Media Arts/T.V.) and a Master of Art from Clayton State University (Liberal Studies).

Five years from now Heron wants SVC to continue growing in every element, from fashion, publication, consignment and discipleship programs.

“I want SVC to be known as a hub for creative ministry particularly vintage, consigned and handmade fashion,” she said.

While, she’s appreciative of a growing business Heron doesn’t want to lose the closeness of it.

“I want SVC to hold on to its intimacy. I love knowing my clients by name and their styles,” she said.

Whether teaching, fashion or ministry, Heron is motivated by purpose.

“If I wasn’t doing what I knew God wanted me to do I would feel empty,” she said. She continues, “Despite the struggles of entrepreneurship and stepping out on faith, knowing that I’m in the will of God and operating on purpose is my main motivation.”

Extra Pieces

*Hours at SVC are seasonal, current hours are Monday through Wednesday by appointment only and Thursday through Saturday 12 to 8:30 p.m.They are located at 1016 Howell Mill Road Suite 3207Atlanta,Ga.30318 (1016 Lofts Building) Enter and park on the 10th Street side of the building.


*Prayer in the Closet Tuesdays at 7 p.m., a collaboration between Erik Vance of Pray or Die Organization and SVC. Prayer in the Closet creates a non-traditional and non-judgmental environment that is built on the true love of Jesus Christ, and God’s infallible word.

*April 22 from 3 to 6 p.m.”Spring Cleaning Closet Swap” Purchase fashion with fashion, bring your gently worn yet unwanted goodies to SVC until April 21 and your special ticket will allow you to “purchase/trade” for fresh items.

*”Blogger Brunch” coming in May (details will be announced on web/social media sites)

*Sherane’s Birthday Sale coming in June (details will be on announced web/social media sites).

*There are many ways to contact SVC, here’s how.

www.SheranesVintageCloset.com

Twitter- @SheraneVintage

Facebook Fan Page- Sherane’s Vintage Closet

Blog FromSheranesClosetToYours.Blogspot.com

YouTube Channel- SheraneVintageCloset

All photos courtesy of Sherane’s Vintage Closet

Written by Shaka L. Cobb


Remembering Sharon

My heart is full this morning and I can’t think of any words to say on this first birthday without my great friend and sister Sharon. Earlier this week I planned to blog great stuff, but this morning I have writer’s block. If anyone understands it Sharon does. We shared many experiences of writer’s block together.

Today I ask that my readers join me in prayer for strength for her mother Judy, brother Shawn and especially her beautiful daughters Malaysia and Malanie. In addition all of her family, friends and everyone else that had the blessed opportunity to know her. She didn’t have not one enemy and she always, ALWAYS wore a smile on her face. Even during her two-year struggle with Breast Cancer not once did I hear her complain.

Sooooo… Since I can’t write, how about I just share some of my memories of Sharon in pictures. Enjoy!

“I ain’t even got one sad tear left in me, all I want is to see the whole world stand up tonight, ohhhh we celebrating life. Give yourself a round of applause…BRAVO”
Happy 36th Birthday to our angel Sharon Ochoa

Mudear and the coconut cake

Last year my paternal great-grandmother turned 99-years-old on May 20, I called to wish her a happy birthday and she thanked me, she then asked “Where my cake?”

I responded, “What cake Mudear?”

She responded back firmly, “You said you were gone make me a coconut cake.”

I knew I didn’t tell her that, but at her age, with a touch of dementia I went along.

“Okay Mudear, when you come down in July, I’ll have you a coconut cake.”

In that deep southern voice that I loved so much she said, “Okay baby, thank ya.”

Sure enough when she made her yearly summer trip from Rochester, New York down south for the Pace Family Reunion I had her coconut cake.

The day before I searched Kroger and Publix looking for a coconut cake, to no avail. I even called the bakery who I’d hired to make two hundred cupcakes for my upcoming wedding. I thought surely if she can do that in three different flavors she had coconut cakes, but she didn’t.

Finally I decided to bake the cake myself, I’m not much of a baker, but if Mudear wanted a coconut cake, she was going to get one. After all she’s 99-years-old and she deserves to have whatever she likes.

I bought my ingredients, a bag of shredded coconut, vanilla icing, yellow cake mix and fresh strawberries to garnish.

As I prepared, I thought of all the times she must have cooked and baked for my grandma, daddy and even me, I felt extra proud.

I finished my cake and the next day I took it to her hotel room. She sat on the edge of the bed and my cousins, aunts and my then fiancé sang happy birthday to her.

Let me preface this by saying my great-grandma was one of the nicest women I met, however she spoke exactly what was on her mind.

She looked at the cake,

“It sho is pretty, I wonder what it taste like.”

(Funny thing is I thought the same thing.)

My great Aunt Thelma took a knife and cut Mudear a piece of cake. Mudear took a bite…then she spit it out.

“What is this? Paper,” she asked.

It was hilarious; my whole family couldn’t stop laughing.

Finally, through laughter Aunt Thelma said to Mudear.

“You asked Shaka for a coconut cake and now you don’t want it.”

Mudear replied, “I sho appreciate it, but I don’t like it.”

As I type, I’m laughing through tears.

Sadly that was the first and last cake I made for her, she passed away this morning. My entire family was looking forward to celebrating her 100th this year. I planned to ask her what kind of cake she wanted. However God had other plans, I thank Him for leaving her here as long as he did. A lot of people never get to know their grandmother let alone great-grandmother, but for my cousins and I we were truly blessed. She will always be in our hearts.

Above is Lisa, Rachetau, Marquise Jr., Charlotte, Myself and of course Mudear and the coconut cake!

This piece is dedicated to Matilda Pace and the loving funny memories she left with us all.

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Together Again

If there was one thing I could always bet money on it was the conversation I’d have with my paternal great-grandmother.

Without fail, whenever I would call her she would say in that deep southern Alabama accent,

“Hey baby, how yo daddy?”

I’d tell her how he was and then we’d proceed with our conversation. My father passed away in 2007, a couple years before that my great-grandma (Mudear as we called her) stopped asking about him. I knew with the old age memory loss was following.

Today would’ve been my father’s 55th birthday, this morning just after 7.a.m. my beloved Mudear passed away at the age of 99.

My emotions are everywhere, I’m sad my daddy is not here, I’m sad my Mudear is gone, I’m sad for my grandma, I can only imagine how she must feel.

However with all this sadness, I feel a pinch of joy. Joy because on this day 55 years ago my father wasn’t expected to live long, yet he lived 50 years. Joy because Mudear lived long enough to touch so many lives. I may refer to her as “my Mudear” in this piece, but I shared her with lots of cousins. She answered to Mudear, Grandma, Mama and Tilly, but she loved us all the same with that one giving heart.

Perhaps the one comforting moment for me is realizing that Mudear no longer has to ask about daddy. I’m confident that today when she left her earthly home and entered into her heavenly home he was one of many people who greeted her. She wished him a happy birthday and he welcomed her home.

This piece is dedicated to Matilda Phillips Pace (May 20, 1912-February 28, 2012) and Ronnie Phillips (February 28, 1957- May 16, 2007)

 

Why Bobby Brown should check his ego

We’ve all been there; we have a party, baby shower, bar-b-que and the all time favorite, a wedding. Whether it’s an evite or invite, the same rules apply when those magical four letters appear. Please R.S.V.P.
Or as the French say répondez s’il vous plait, which translate to “please respond.”
Simply put if you are invited to an event the polite thing to do is to let the host know if you will or will not attend and how many guest you will bring. There are not many situations which call for R.S.V.P at funerals unless of course you are an international singer and actress who name happens to be Whitney Houston.  Social networking, blogs, media, radio, barber shops and beauty salons went haywire last Saturday when the late Whitney Houston’s ex-husband and father to her daughter abruptly left her Home-going Service. After much speculation of whether or not he was actually invited. Rumors started that he was asked to leave, he was not allowed to sit with the family, his crew was not allowed to stay, Whitney rose and asked him to leave(not really) but the gossip was wild. Here is what Bobby Brown said in a statement late Saturday night:

“My children and I were invited to the funeral of my ex-wife Whitney Houston,” he said, referring to his three kids from previous relationships Landon, 26, La’princia, 21, Robert Jr., 20, plus Cassius, his two-year-old with fiancée Alicia Etheridge. “We were seated by security and then subsequently asked to move on three separate occasions. I fail to understand why security treated my family this way and continue to ask us and no one else to move. Security then prevented me from attempting to see my daughter Bobbi Kristina. In light of the events, I gave a kiss to the casket of my ex-wife and departed as I refused to create a scene. My children are completely distraught over the events. This was a day to honor Whitney. I doubt Whitney would have wanted this to occur. I will continue to pay my respects to my ex-wife the best way I know how.”

Okay, there is no dispute that Bobby left the funeral freely. That is where my issue lies. I think that no matter what Bobby should have stayed to morally support his daughter on what was by far one of the hardest days of her young life. At the age of 27 I buried my father; I don’t think it was any easier of a burden than it was for 18-year-old Bobbi Kristina. I do know that having the other parent (my mom) and my grandma there made it a tad bit easier. It’s a weird feeling, but the moment I knew my father was deceased I immediately wanted my mother near and my parents separated before Whitney’s first record was released.

According to Pastor of New Hope Baptist Church, Whitney’s home church where the service took place Bobby was always invited despite news reports that the Houston family wanted him to stay away.  Joe A. Clark appeared on Good Morning America Monday morning (I watched) this is what he said in a nutshell. According to Clark, Bobby and two guests had seats in the family section, but Bobby showed up with nine or ten. Bobby was told that he and his two guests could sit in the family section and seats would be found elsewhere for his other guests. Bobby didn’t agree with that arrangement and left. Clark also said that when Bobby and his guests arrived the family (including Cissy Houston and Bobbi Kris) was still in the fellowship hall and had yet come into the church. Clark said Bobby and his guest being seated in the family section before the rest of the family arrived would have caused lots of confusion.

I do applaud Bobby for not causing a scene, but I would give him a standing ovation if he had simply put his ego aside for the day.

Putting his ego aside would’ve been him and the two guests sitting in the family section as originally planned and the rest of the guest (who were mostly his kids and brother) sit elsewhere. Communication is the key to everything; Bobby should have simply requested in the very beginning that he would bring more than two guests. I agree that his kids should have been there, Whitney was in their lives a long time and Bobbi Kris is their sister. However, the way it was handled was all wrong and caused unnecessary drama.

I pray that Bobby and Bobbi Kris can move past this and that Bobby learn a valuable lesson. Because of his ego he wasn’t there when his daughter needed him most. Does that make him a bad father? No! Just makes him human, we all have acted in the heat of the moment and look back wishing we could change it.

Of course we can’t, but we can learn from it and move forward.

This piece is dedicated to all the people who ignore those four important letters on invitations.

Valentine’s Day and Singles

Sunday afternoon in church our choir director lined all the kids up and allowed them to give Valentine Day Shout Outs to their special someone.
I thought it was the sweetest thing to hear the children express their love for mama, daddy, and grandparents. Afterward, the adults did the same, of course I shouted out my husband of three months.
When I sat down I remember not too long ago I had no valentine to shout out, had that been the case this year I would’ve walked right to the front and wished myself a Happy Valentine’s Day. Shoot, ain’t no shame in my game, never has been.
For the past few days, I’ve noticed a few single associates feeling less than stellar because of the approaching “love day.”
At the same time, I’ve noticed women who complain about their significant others most of the year brag about their anticipation to the big day.
Ha! Really?
I don’t understand the purpose of being treated like a queen one day of the year and a pauper the rest of the year. I wish with all my heart that women would recognized their worth and men would respect it.
This is not a male bashing piece, because fact of the matter is most men gives two flips about the day. However some do, they will never admit it though. Hehehe
I remember in my single days (and there were a lot) I simply made the most out of the overrated holiday. Oh wait, it’s not a holiday! Shoot could’ve fooled me. Hallmark makes a killing on cards, chocolate is consumed and lots of bears are stuffed, upon stuffed, upon stuffed. Poor bears!
Anywho, I’m going to share some of the things I did as a single woman on V-Day. After reading this I don’t want anyone lying around eating chocolates, watching movies, feeling sad. I already did that for yall one year; I think it was 2002 or somewhere round there. Know your worth and be your own valentine!

Shaka’s Suggestions of what to do if you’re single on V-Day!

1. Plan a date with your girlfriends, exchange cards, enjoy dinner and girl talk!
2. Have a movie night with your girlfriends, snacks, martinis and movies of THE finest men in Hollywood.
3. Work extra hours; you’ll be so tired you’ll forget all about the day.
4. Mr. Moscato is always available. Chill and Enjoy!
5. Have a co-ed dinner party, don’t get it twisted, there are some single men who get down in the dumps too.
6. Offer to baby-sit for friends that have plans. Hello! Extra money!
7. If you have children do something fun with them. Don’t let them think a mate is needed to be happy.
8. Some churches have events; find out if one is near you.
9. Online shop, treat yourself to something you’ve been holding off on buying.
10. Very important! The day after all the candy goes on sale. Plan to hit the stores and buy your favs! (Get there early because it’s a tradition that I still do)

This piece is dedicated to all the single ladies! All the single ladies! (In my best Beyonce voice)

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The 54th Annual Grammy Awards

Sunday night, armed with my snacks of tortilla chips and a pina colada I prepared for the Grammy’s.
Now I knew there would be a somber tone, because of the recent death of Whitney Houston, but I had no idea I’d be bored out of my mind.
My goodness, what in the world happened?
Since all of my friends are at least an hour away, I watched the show alone. But, ummmm, not really.
Thanks to Facebook I was able to partake in some hilarious dialogue.
I must admit, I don’t have over 600 friends because of popularity, out of that bunch are definitely some characters.
Speaking of characters, shout out to Little Red Riding Hood for making an appearance last night. Oh wait, that was Nicki Minaj! Where in the world is the Big Bad Wolf when we need him? I prayed so hard he’d show up and eat her, but he didn’t. Moving on…
Chris Brown, welcome back, but one performance of dancing was enough. Before I share some of my status updates because they are quite entertaining (or is it timeline updates now). Anyway, let me just say to the people who were expecting Jennifer Hudson to sing as great as Whitney did…Um Really?
Nobody and I do mean nooooooBODY will or can ever sing “I Will Always Love You” like Whitney. Not even the original artist Dolly Parton (no disrespect Miss 9 to 5).
Jennifer did a wonderful job, given the time she had to prepare and considering how much Whitney meant to her. (Round of applause for Jhud).
With that being said, here are my posts from last night during the show, in no particular order. Enjoy!

“I’m sad all over again. A tribute to Whitney doesn’t seem right, but Jennifer did a great job under the circumstances. And she looked great. Whitney I love you always.”

“No lie, I like Blake Shelton. He’s so country, love that voice.”

“Now THIS is a performance! #Adele”

“Is Katie Perry paying tribute to Blue Ivy or something?”

“Yall still awake?”

“Lol, someone called them Beach Grandpas.”

“Yes LL! Prayer!Amen!”

“Shout out to Tina Turner for allowing Rihanna to wear her wig.”

“Fergie, my grandma said, you need a slip baby.”

“Somebody said Bruno Mars looks like El Debarge and Gloria Estefan’s love child! Lol”

“I ain’t gonna lie; I dozed off for about five minutes.”

This piece is dedicated to everyone who kept me laughing during the awards show. I never want to watch a major show with my Facebook Family.

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